An experiment

We went to a concert at Spencer's school on Monday. Sitting in front of us was a lovely couple who were there with their four children. They don't speak English so I'm not entirely sure what they were talking about -- but what I noticed was how she looked at her husband and children. You could tell by the look on her face, in her eyes just how much she loves her family. I'm not sure how I look at my husband and son, but observing her made me want to be conscious of how I look at them. This weekend I made a concerted effort to smile more and hold their gazes a little longer. I loved what happened. Especially with Spencer -- he would be expressionless and then suddenly was wearing a big smile. I'm going to try my best that my son and husband know how much I love them just by the look on my face.

Changes on the Horizon

Fast forward a few years and I'm back. Must be problems on the horizon! Things are great with Spencer. He is now in 2nd grade and thriving in a bilingual elementary school and he's doing well. What isn't great is my work life balance. I have been in the same position for nearly 10 years working for the same amazing boss. I got a new boss in January and am really rethinking about where I want to spend my days. Since we got rid of our full-time nanny (when Spencer started 1st grade)our life has gotten more stressful. My husband travels a fair amount and Spencer has had a hard time adjusting to after school care and camps when we are on break. Life feels like a grind and we've been talking about me working part-time or even staying home. I had coffee with my former boss yesterday who recommends I give notice and get out of here in time for summer. Spend summer at home with my kiddo and then figure out what's next in the fall. I might actually do this and I'm scared to death. I've never not worked. I have had a very successful career and I sort of buy into the logic that you need a job to get a job. I don't know if that is right or wrong. I've also always had a career that to some extent defined me -- or at least a big part of me. To give that up for a short or long time is daunting but I think probably a good thing on the path of self discovery. Stay tuned...